Hi (:
My name is Chair and I rock.
Seventeen candles on the 28th September '09. I ♥ cocktails, cocaine, and clubbing.

PARAMORE
is the bomb.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




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HOW MUCH LONGER? ♥ at 5:57 AM


I REALIZE I'LL ACTUALLY BLOG AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK (:
well,it is kinda boring with my life. it seems that i am always depress. i am trying not to be one. i can tell others to take things easy but when it comes to myself. i criously couldnt do it. my life is being controlled badly by my mum. she dislike that i sms too often. so, i wont be sms-ing from monday till thursday. i watch tv while i do my homework. i am already being good. even its saturday. i did not leave my books aside. and yea, she scolded me badly. everything that i do seems to be wrong and nothing seems to be right. why must she compare me with her friend's daughters which will be doctors in future? i mean, normally people who take up doctorate are different from NORMAL PEOPLE LIKE ME =.= i get so annoyed. i am sixteen and i want my teenage life. i will only have few years to be a teenager and you're making my life so miserable. i want to be an obedient kid. but the way you treat me, makes me rebellious. its just that i always control myself, hold back my emotions so that i wont hurt you. but why everytime i step backward you wanna step forward. i have my own limitations too. you're sick so i endure all this but how much longer can i let all these go on? everytime you scold me. i feel like crying. but i always hold back my emotions. hold back my temper. yet, you still say i'm showing my bad temper. mum, do you even remember. if i am showing my temper, i would have slam the door and off to bed like what i always do last time. cant you feel and cant you see how much i've change? can you please stop complaining at least for one day? you are like sprinkling salt on my wound. I PROMISE, i will work harder to be better. I WILL TRY TO BE WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE.

friends, you think i am leading a happy life? yea, true that i dont needa stress about MONEY. no financial problem. i dont needa worry that i dont have enough money to further my studies in future. SO WHAT? i dont have a happy family like you all do. you all can laugh happily from the bottom of your heart, but me? i cant. nothing is real now. laughters? happiness? and between YOU and i. there's a wall between us eversince SHE appeared. so i guess, i couldnt share my problems with you anymore.
cause you dont even care. do you?

JOEY1827♥


I HAD LEARNT TO HIDE MY HEART ♥ at 8:29 AM


i had learnt not to share my pain and problems with others bcause i know that i'll burden them. eventhough i am sad, i'll just act as if i'm okayy. today... i cried. well, i know i shouldnt cry. but i've been scolded by my mum so often lately. everytime i try so hard to hold back my emotions just to make her feel better. if i cry i am sure she'll feel bad. today she scolded me again. i know, i should not interfere conversations between my grandma and her. but i cant sit back and watch my grandma putting on a show. she knew my mum is sick. why cant she call others to buy her what she wants. why is it always MY MUM. my mum respect her bcause she said we needa respect elders. i just couldnt tolerate. i am trying to be nice to my grandma too. i try not to hate her. but she's being such a hypocrite. i cant stand all these.
yea, mum scolded me badly cause i told my grandma to tell someone else to get those things for her. yea, I KNOW. I AM WRONG in every perspective. but i just wanna protect my mum. i dont want my grandma to get advantage on my mum just bcause my mum respect her more than her daughters do. i know i'm wrong. i protect my mum in the wrong way. so i pretend that i'm sleeping when she scolded me. and the truth is i'm crying. i really wanted to cry out loud so badly but i couldnt. i know ended up mum will be more sad than i am. mum, i am sorry. you might think i am rebellious. you might be angry. but i want you to know. ILOVEYOU. no matter, how much time we have left. i home every moment that we had spent together will leave you great memories.
I AM SORRY FOR ALL THAT I'VE DONE and to my friends and *** sorry cause my problems burden you without realizing how annoying it would be for you all to listen to me all the time. from now on :) i will never bug you all over my problems anymore...
bcause this is a pathway i needa go alone

JOEY1827♥


HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARMENWONGG ♥ at 9:02 AM

I actually requested from you, the pictures we snapped together but you did not respond so maybe i'll upload it another day. well. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KAWAN-KU :)
it was indeed a great celebration that day. i am glad that you're happy to receive the present from us. and I AM HAPPIER to know that you loved the SURPRISE FROM ME :D
we knew each other since FORM1 and i guess this is the very FIRST time celebrating your birthday with you. i am so happy to know you. at first i thought famous people like you wont mingle around with people like me. ordinary, not noticeable. haha, carmen. thankyou for being my friend (: at times when i am down you're there to listen to me. i do appreciate. though SOMEtimes we will have small arguments but i do believe everytime we argue it will make our friendship stronger. THANKYOU, CARMENWONGG :)
HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN <3

JOEY1827♥


WAITING ♥ at 6:53 AM


I AM WAITING. the last message from you was at 9.01p.m and your text was 'text you later' and now it is already 10.00pm sharp no sign of you text-ing me back. i wonder where have you been? what are you doing? is it bcause everytime you dunno how to answer my question and the best way to avoid me is to text me back later? i hope that my assumptions are wrong. i dont hope that my pessimism will be your burden.but i hope you understand that waiting for someone is very tough...

JOEY1827♥


HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLETANYUEN ♥ at 6:40 AM


HEY DUDE, HAPPY SWEET 16. i bet you're disappointed cause i did not wish you till this very moment i am waiting to be the last person. * hopefully*
NIC, thankyou for being such a nice friend. you always help me out if i need any. but there's smtg about you, you sacrificed too much for others please learn to be more selfish. though it is bad for me to say such thing. but i hope that you'll not be used by others. learn to protect yourself alright? if you need a listener i'm always here.
ALWAYS :D
thankyou, for all that you've done my friend. i truly, deeply sincerely THANKYOU :)
all the best in your future undertakings and happy holidays. hope you had a blast celebration today...

JOEY1827♥


HOW MUCH DO I KNOW ABOUT YOU? ♥ at 6:12 AM


what is it again this time i wonder? what else do i expect from you? you asked me the question which i had been hoping to hear since the moment we broke up. but when i found out that i am no longer your only foster. I AM GREATLY UPSET. but what else can i say. you had already bcome fosters with her without letting me know at all until actually asked. how much time do we have? i really dont know. natural disasters happening from time to time. who knows when will the EARTH really die? how much time left do i have to mend our relationship? how much time left for me to tell you, that you're someone very important to me? i could feel there's a wall in between us. can i ever break this wall? i dont wanna request anything more from you. i just hope will still pay a little bit attention on me. i never put hope that i am your first priority, i'll also never hope that you'll ever place me in a very important place in your life. i just hope that you'll never forget about me. you said you'll text me later but ended up you did not turn up tonight. but i guess you'll never know the pain of waiting for you. its okayy. i guess i just needa endure all the pain. afterall its your last year and i dont hope you'll ended up hating me for being so annoying. sigh. i wanna be optimistic too but sometimes i just dont have a choice. the disappointment is silently killing me. can you feel it?
JOEY1827♥